For some reason this week, maybe because we're coming up to the new year, I've been thinking a lot about my journey since coming to AA. I'm astounded at what's taken place as I've walked the AA path. Sometimes I feel like I've been so fortunate and have had it so much easier than others I've heard speak about their problems and things they've run into while trying to get sober. I've run off the AA path on several occasions but the one thing I've never done is to go back to drinking. I've come from being pretty much atheist or agnostic, depending on the situation, to where I am now, a 7 year old Catholic and looking forward at each opportunity, to going to mass to celebrate Jesus and the redemption I've received not only from my disbelief but from my drinking past. I realize now that God has always been there. He didn't move....I did. Whenever I felt like He had abandoned me, it was me who moved away from Him, not the other way around. My AA path has had a few speed bumps along the way, but mostly has been a path of very little resistance because I pretty much did what I was told to do, or what was suggested that I do. Seven years ago it dawned on me that my higher power was of my understanding, which was limited to what my human brain could conjure up, which meant I was still doing things my way. So, in an effort to further my spiritual growth, I went back to church where there were people who could help me achieve that goal, just like when I wanted to stop drinking, I came to AA where there were people who knew how not to drink. The changes in my life have been significant. Left to my own devices, I know what would happen. Living the AA program to the best of my ability, coupled with the effort to be a good Christian in my new church have only served to further solidify my determination to be the best person I'm capable of being..... One Day at a Time.
