Thanks for the replies
gave me a lot to think about.. I do see things in black and white and I dont cut myself the slack i encourage others to..give myself the love I lack, that I need.
so ive just completed an online assessment for a drug and alcohol rehab clinic 40 miles from here so I await a reply and I hope, a place there.
Thanks for helping me see what I need to do/be.
Ll xx♡