I would start by speaking with an attorney to discuss custody and financial issues first and then quietly plan from there. I started recording my AH when he was drunk in an effort to secure my children's safety if/when we separate. Oddly enough, recording him and then sharing those recordings with him is what made him realize he needed help and needed to be devoted to getting help ASAP. He keeps telling me that he is learning more and more every day how deep rooted his issues are. I digress, I would start there and do what you need to do to provide safety for your kids. That may include speaking with a women's shelter or CPS to create a paper trail if your AH is being abusive. Paper trail is vitally important.