in my last marriage, we were both clean n sober when we met...he had 3 yrs in NA and I had over a year in AA. of our 14 years total, we got married about 7 years in, and I was drinking again at 7.5. conscious decision on my part. see I never really wanted to GET married....but he proposed while we were at High Tea at the Empress Hotel in Victoria BC and how the hell do you say NO?????
fast forward another 7 years, which were increasingly awful for me - wasn't him, it was ME. I didn't belong...I tired, lord I tried, to be the GOOD wife...and I was. kept a nice home, took care of him, the bills, the big financial decisions. and yet was off to the bar 2-3 times a week.
and then one day, after years of planning, I was ready to go. I left him the house, all the stuff except for the minimal amount I took with me that either was rightfully mine or my daughter's or he wouldn't care about and away I went to kickstart my own life that was about me. he was/is a great guy. just not the guy for me. I left him in better financial condition then when we met. and I left him the wretched dogs too!