For those just starting out
First, Let me say I'm glad you are thinking about or have already started trying to quit.
Second, I am not an alcoholic, my beloved wife is.
I came to these forums two years ago as she was hitting rock bottom. Lost her job, hospitalizations, tried to quit cold turkey and spent a week in the hospital after siezure and heart failure... she was deeply addicted to alcohol.
Today, we are married with a perfect 1 year old son. She has a husband and child and two dogs and many friends and is very happy. On Christmas night two years ago she had her rock bottom which ended in the wee hours of Dec 26 when she refused to go to a hospital and I realized that if she did not get help I would be watching her die. I dropped her with family members much to her outrage and my misery but we had reached that point where something had to change.
And... she did. In the past two years she has completely changed her life. She had to small lapses that first year - drinking for one day before getting caught and then a few weeks later sneaking drinks for three days and not getting caught, all the while going to AA meetings but after that second, uncaught lapse she started going to AA because she wanted and needed it and was terrified of losing everything she cares about.
Today she sponsors a few newcomers and she works on her AA program every day but while she is always aware of it and spends time on AA and reading and meditation related to it, Alcohol is not running her life. Her legal problems are cleared up, she is a fulltime wife and mother and this is a serene and happy Christmas.
I just wanted to let some who are looking and still split between wanting to get free of it but... hey don't completely block off access to my alcohol here just in case! I know it's tough but only from watching and supporting her. I also know that she slipped after 9 months sober when she thought she had it beat and got overconfident and had to start over with that 24 hour chip. She got her 1 year chip in August. We have a number of friends from her AA group - sobriety means we don't do the things we used to with the folks we used to hang out with. We hang out with sober people and as it turns out we have plenty of good times without alcohol. AA might not be your answer but it's a good place to go hang out for an hour each day until you figure out another answer ;-) for my wife it took 9 months before she started living it, not just doing it. So what if you are not sure if it will work? You're here so you are probably sure that things are not working now right?
Nobody can make you - not a spouse or a parent or a judge... sure you can do things to placate them but it won't really do much until you start seeing those people who were worse off than you in their past and have 5 or 10 or 20 years sober, a happy family, a solid career and they tend to be very serene and happy because they work at keeping the things that made them drink under control in other ways.
Two years ago I made the decision that I could not survive watching the woman I loved kill herself and my inability to help her was destroying me so we reached a decision point - either a life for she and I together or not but a life together meant she had to be sober and I had to make changes of my own. It was not an easy road but it's been a wonderful one and I wish those just starting out who meet my happy, bubbly, cute as hell without meaning to be wife could see her two years ago because you'd say "Damn - OK, so how do I get from here to there?". Hell if I know - the folks at AA drew her a map, not me. They saved her and she saved herself.
Hang in there, no sense in beating yourself up and the problems you are looking at right now might seem insurmountable but you don't have to figure out everything on your own or today. Figure out what the next right thing is and do that, then repeat, and repeat, and repeat... progress is stringing together lots of small wins. People you don't know have been right where you are and are now somewhere better. People like me, much like your loved ones who may be angry or disappointed today, pray that switch will go off for you where you just get so damned tired of the misery of alcoholism that you will take that first step and build on it. Whatever you've done they'll forgive. Forever is a long time and it is hard to stay pissed at someone you love once they start trying to make things right and keep doing the right things day after day... it might take a while but OK... it takes a while for Alcoholism to progress to rock bottom and takes a while to unwind once you start getting well. So what?
A merry and peaceful Christmas to you and a stranger's prayer that you'll give yourself the gift of a new future for yourself and all those who love you and believe in you and knows that you are much much more than the person you may seem to be when alcohol is driving.
You can. ...and you should because if you are still breathing and able to read this far into this longass ramble then you must really want to make some changes. Hang in there, I hope you are getting yourself a one year chip for Christmas 2014.