I think you are in love with a fantasy of what the relationship could be, because the reality doesn't appear to be mutually respectful, supportive or understanding.
Originally Posted by
InvisibleFrank 
After about 16 months I realized that the drinking and drugs had spiraled out of control for the two of us
I kept asking for her support in my abstinence as I knew that drinking and drugs was killing me / her,
she would stay in bed and vomit uncontrollably all day after a session which is not a nice position to see the woman you love in.
I kept requesting her not to bring drugs into the house or if she did, then not to tell me. She would say 'yes I support you and admire what you're trying to do" and then bring drugs in to the house and do them / let me know that she was doing them
She moved in with her mother and is now also free from drugs but continues to drink
If she is still drinking, the chances are good that she is lying about the quantity. My ex husband would lie about his level of drinking when he tried to reconcile with me. He also would say he fell asleep early on nights he was drunk so I wouldn't hear his slurring words.
In my sober life, I wanted a relationship partner who is open, honest, and treats me with respect as an equal partner in life. I didn't settle for less.
I deserve to be treated with respect, and so do you.
Your sobriety is priority one! You have 24 days clean and sober. Your ex is not sober. How are you going to handle her bringing home booze, drinking in front of you, and getting smashed? I tried living with an active alcoholic after I was sober, and I was not able to detach from the disrespect that came in the house with the bottle of booze.
Originally Posted by
InvisibleFrank I (30) was 4 years older than my lover and found that the toll taken by everything (being hungover / guilt etc) was getting too much. I kept asking for her support in my abstinence as I knew that drinking and drugs was killing me
I told her that I couldn't bear keeping on re-lapsing and that I would leave if she couldn't help and support me
What are people's thoughts on this? 24 days sober and clean.
It was not up to my husband to help me stay sober. It was not up to my family to help me stay sober. They didn't cause it. They couldn't control it. They couldn't cure it.
My addiction was my problem and it was mine to solve. That way, if I failed ~ I had myself to blame. Plus, that way if I succeeded, I could take the credit.
Your dad has been sober 40 years. That is awesome! I would ask him what his thoughts were, and do that.