My son called me after his car was impounded a year and a half ago. He called four different times using a different approach each time......anger, guilt, begging, and "I'm clean". I knew that the car was his collateral with his dealers. He could run drugs, make deliveries, etc......as long as he had a car. It was often the only shelter he had. I said "No". That was the beginning of a rapid spiral for six months that was extremely hard to watch. But I stuck to my guns. Would I do it differently 20/20 hindsight. No.
Just because your daughter says something doesn't mean it is true. She is using the age old manipulation tactic F.ear O.bligation G.uilt = F.O.G. That tactic makes it very difficult to think clearly. (She's using all three of those things in that email.....she's loaded for bear). F.O.G. will make us do things that contribute to their addiction.....we can't think when our heads and hearts are in a F.O.G. Unconditional love without boundaries is not love at all. Just think....if she said "Hey Mom (in a loving manner) can you send me a couple thousand so that I can buy (insert drug of choice) to hold me for the next week or two?" Could you say no? I know you could.......so does she.
In Nar-Anon we learn to control our actions and reactions. Sometimes no response is very effective. There is no anger in it. There is no giving into manipulation in it. Sometimes the best response is absolutely no response at all. It sends a powerful message. But I guarantee she'll take another run at you. Brace yourself. It'll be a different tactic or she'll escalate.
You know you love her. So does she. She's counting on it.
gentle hugs
ke