Thank you very much NWGRITS. I have been pretty quiet on the board lately as life has become so wonderfully crazy. In a turn of events a week after my surgery I met a wonderful loving patient man who has brought so much joy to my life. I am now surrounded by so much love and support some days the only overwhelming part is realizing my blessings. Just last month I was without a car and five friends stepped forward to offer help. How blessed is that?
Without being in pain constantly lately I have actually managed to look around at the life I built in the last few years. It is calm and peaceful filled with loved ones and opportunities. I have had a few hiccups with the people I cherish in the past few months but I can proudly say that I managed my ACOA tendencies in at least my actions even when they tried to overtake my thoughts. Today I logged on in the pre-holiday stillness and for once lack of stress (a feat I never imagined possible) to see how far I have come and I'm almost shocked at the difference.
I wanted to write and update to show a good point in recovery and say how grateful I am for the tools, books, and people I have met in real life and on this forum. I know I have a long road ahead but for now this seems like a pretty good place to pull up a chair and enjoy the scenery. Today, I own my own life and my own happiness. My mother still drinks, the family is still crazy, but I own my life and they only get the pieces that are spares so they can't hurt me or steal my happiness. It's a feeling I truly never thought possible.