So that was your old way of relaxing, and that's in the rear-view mirror, maybe it's time to make a new tradition of how you'll relax and let off some steam after those inevitable bumps in life's road. I know when I first quit the booze I had a lot of vacant space all of a sudden in my day/week/life, and as I filled in those gaps with new (or pre-drunkassed me) activities, things ran much smoother.
It sounds like you are doing great though, fifty days, that's awesome
nice job you!