I know, you're absolutely right. When I took the boys to a hotel last weekend while he was drinking, they both kept asking where daddy was. It kills me to think they might blame me for taking them away. But you're right, I often think to the future and imagine them being older and seeing it, seeing him scream at me, and I think about how they'll learn from that (even now), and I think I could be dooming my future grandkids to this same life. Also the insecurity my boys will feel, and probably already do to some extent, with their dad acting this way.