Christmas is hard
It's not even Christmas yet and I already feel like drinking. Last night we had a family dinner for my dad, mom, sister, brother-in-law and his mother. I knew how things were going to go when my mom and I were watching my sister walk up the drive, and she hissed at me: "Jesus Christ, she's dressed like your Grandmother". Now, she actually was, but my mom has zero tact. During dessert she said to my sister: "Your New Year's resolution should be to lose weight. The next time I see you, I want you to be slim and smart like your sister". At this stage I had to jump in and say "leave me out of this, thank you". Some people will try to drag you into anything.
My dad wanted to visit his sister today, who lives in a nursing home. It's kind of sad because she is a lot younger than my dad, and he is fine (fingers crossed). Anyway my mom rang me while I was out for a walk and she was crying and saying "this will be your sister the lunatic in years to come". I said "please stop calling her that because it's not right". And she said "It is right, if she was normal she would never have married a Romanian".
Anyway, I walked by a shop. And I went in and bought a bottle of vodka. And I walked to the beach and I sat on a rock and I was looking at it for a while. It was bitterly cold. And I sat there for a while. It started raining. And then all of a sudden I stood up...and flung that bottle over the rocks and down into the ocean. I felt peaceful. It was freaky, because at this point all of a sudden it stopped raining and the sun began to shine. Was Mother Nature, or God, or my grandparents or whoever is up in the big blue sky sending me a message that I did the right thing? I like to think so. I watched it bob about in the water before I turned and walked away. (Actually I hope no one saw me because I don't want to get a fine for littering or whatever.)
I went home and got straight into a hot shower. I wish I hadn't wasted my money. I am sitting with a cup of camomile tea and planning to go to a meeting in the morning.
I just wanted to tell people about my "magic moment".
Love and hugs,
Tetra x