Beavsdad...your post hit me (in a good way).
The motivation to keep my boundaries are the older mothers....the enabling mothers who may not even know what enabling means. My husband mothers is a supreme example.
I vow not to be 74 years old with my adult children living off of me. (husbands mother). I vow that my love for my children isn't dependent upon my doing EVERYTHING for them and FIXING their problems. I pray that I can hold tight until my time comes.
It's the most difficult thing to do.