Thanks everyone for starting the discussion about boundaries. I agree that judgement of behavior is necessary to be able to discern how to survive in the world. Judgement of people through character assassination such as gossip, name-calling, blaming, and shaming do not help anyone and only hurt us. We have the right to set our own boundaries and we also have a responsibility to respect others boundaries. When our lack of boundaries meets someone else's lack of boundaries it is a free for all as often seen on this forum with the relationship difficulties we have all experienced. There is no room for shame or self-righteousness in recovery, both of which I have experienced and handed out. My relationships with self and others has suffered as a result of codependent boundaries- aka doormat. Say what you mean, mean what you say, and don't say it mean.