First time I went to Alanon was back YEARS before the relapse. Mrs. Hammer advised my that I should be familiar with it.
It made no sense at all. Some guy (probably how I now appear) yammering about the Three C's. I sort of said, yeah, ok that is nice. Whatever.
But AFTER the Relapse. OMIGOD. Made total sense. I was hooked at the first meeting. Deep "hood" side of Dallas. Totally fell in love with my group. Would dream about them. By my 4th Step, we (me) were getting so much better that from the time I started my 4th Step . . . which was about getting my family OUT of the Deep Hood of Dallas . . . just 12 hours later, we had the house signed for up in (what I call) Lilywhite. Big Family House, on an acre, with horses running in the pasture in back.
God Delivers.
I foolishly took my eyes off the prize, Mrs. Hammer kept sinking deeper and deeper, and I would not go to Alanon "up there" because I loved my old group so much it felt like I would be disloyal if went to another group.
Even when folks came and directly asked me to come and help the local Alanon because they needed help. (so ashamed of that now, looking back), and I completely stopped my Steps, too. Had what I wanted. F-off, God!
The Lord Gives and the Lord Takes away.
Grabbed an even nicer place and moved on up some more. Mrs. Hammer was crashing down to 90 lbs, I was helping my daughter with a science project (measuring heart rates and blood pressure) and I could see by the numbers that Mrs. Hammer was actually dying. We lost our even better house, wound up homeless, and I went screaming and crying back to Alanon.
God is Good. He restores.
Mrs. Hammer wound up in Rehab, we have a nice house again, AA / Alanon is less than a 1/4 mile away, and THIS TIME I am NOT taking my eyes off of Him. I always thought Peter a dumbass. Yunno the Big Mouth Disciple? Jumping out the boat and walking on the water, but failing to keep his eyes on Him. And almost drowning? Turns out I am Peter. All mouth, backed up with a big dumbass.
So out of my psycho story telling . . . ANY Alanon is a GOOD Alanon, and I hit them all over, whether home or traveling, and often.
Maybe you should, too.