Hi Ann! Yes this mamma is already in deep debt from the irresponsibility of the daughters spending and also my giving it to them. Thank goodness I'm not a "Ralph Lauren" momma who has to have designer clothes and look like a trophy. Not that I've let myself go, not at all. It's just that I feel guilty in spending,only on myself, that is. I have always been like that. Which makes it come in handy when unexpected expenses come up like Methadone payments, or food.
I have not slept but an hour last night, tossing and turning, then stayed up to read some posts, plus just thinking about last nights traumatic arguments and tantrums, I am really bothered by all that happened and don't want a repeat.
I am concerned some about the ADs future, in fact all three of them. I'm am thinking the older one will graduate in May, the younger AD is going to Minnesota to live with her dad, might have it better with him, ya right. I'm sure she will be back in a matter of weeks. Her dad already told me that he's not going to let either one of them live with him, no matter what. That's really selfish of him. He packed up and moved out two years ago for this "dream job" with the intent of staying only 3 months. We do not have a happy marriage, but that's a long story and has nothing to do with one person, just wants to be alone and drink.
Yes my life IS miserable but I do have some happiness. It's not all doom and gloom! I do see some color blooming from a frozen ground, a small flower of life peaking out, yes, it's there. No use worrying about money, it just makes me obsess over it, and obsess over and over. I would like to worry about the Family of addicts meeting to disband, THAT would make me really upset.
So my cyber friends, gotta go take my boy to school. Will write soon. Let it snow! TF