Hey, It's really quiet in the house now, really quiet. All three children are upstairs, my son, who usually goes to bed early, came to me and said good night and thanks for the "cool" t-shirts" and was gonna wear one of them Tuesday. Nothing else. I'm glad this wasn't gonna be rehashed over again. At least not tonight anyway. I'm starting to wonder about a relapse? I heard the girls talking about the diner they were taking the boy to tomorrow night and that they were gonna order him a drink and that when dad comes home, he's taking them all out and letting them have beer. I guess that's allowed in underage kids in WI if your parent is with you. Very concerned about this and also how irresponsible of my husband, the functioning alcoholic, the one who couldn't live with addicts, the one who left his family. I think he shouldn't do this. It's very dangerous. We don't have a good communication between us, he plays the blame game, always has. Not that I'm all innocent and sweet. I am dramatic, read into things, and worry my a$$ off about small issues. So I guess we are a dysfunctional family, with a weary mom who is trying drastically and panickly to hold this, my family, together.
Yes, my girls are mean to me, each other for reasons that need not be, then, are sweet, kink and loving. Kinda sounds like Bi-Polar? They have been tested, the younger one highly positive,BUT, the Drs. want all the drugs out of their body before they start labeling mental illnesses. They told me it could take up to a year before this diagnosis can be made. Great, addicts and mentally ill children, can anything else happen to my family? One thing that won't ever go away is my love and need to protect my kids.
If anything, I hope my sad story of living the life of a mom of Heroin/Opiates/Benzos addicts is like. Learn from my mistakes, be warned of unpredictable behavior and mostly where have our children gone, will they come back? Are their minds altered forever? I pray I am wrong. They will be back, enjoy and embrace the sobriety they were born into. I cling to that four letter word...HOPE. I will always have hope, with my eyes wide open. Good night SR, I appreciate an ear you offer and all the support. Love my SR. TF