Thank you all so much for your advice. Last night was tough. He came home after going to an AA meeting and he was so upset.
He said "What habe I done? How did I get to be where I am today?"
I heard- Here goes his self pity excuses for I am busted once again and will have to prove that she should keep me.
He said "I will do everything to get my head on straight and get the help I need so I can be that man I wish I was"
I heard- I have to do soemthing to get out of this mess- maybe I should get help- I know she will take me back if I get on the right path. I have no clue what kind of man I am but it's obviously not the kind she wants right now.
He said "Please don't give up on me. I love you and I love the kids"
I heard- This will pass again just like the last time and you will take me back in a few weeks. I am losing my wife and kids and I have to get them back. Help me, Help me, Help me- without you I can't do anything- Co-dependent!
Anyway, I actually had a nice night after he left and enjoyed relaxing after the kids went to sleep. I felt no stress or worries. I feel like a terrible weight has been lifted of my shoulders. I think that is a bad sign! I just feel strong and I guess empowered. I know I have an amazing support system in my family and friends and they would do anything to help me through this.
And thanks for the suggestions of getting to a meeting. I know I need to find one and I will.