Thank you for all of your kindnesses.
Yes, if I knew everything was going to be okay, then I would be okay. I don't know if I am catastrophizing sometimes, but I have so many fears! Of losing my home here and losing my children.
My children are totally innocent and this situation is hard. Xah skyped them yesterday and played the (my) piano to them, singing all of our family songs. Total schmaltz but he has a beautiful voice and it tore me up. We had the most beautiful family life if you didn't know about the secret drinking and fighting that ensued.
They are going to be in that house of mine with all the toys and pretty things I found for the house, playing that piano as though nothing is wrong. And if that doesn't make for craziness, I don't know what will.
My littlest told me that she asked her father what happened that last day he came after me and I went to the police, and he said, 'what day?' And kept jabbering as though nothing ever happened at all.
I just have to put one foot ahead of the other, don't I?
I thank you all again. I need to remember that God is still here. I went out this morning and was greeted by so many kind faces I saw God in each one. That is also where God is. Between us all.