I asked my husband this question after he had been in recovery awhile... he said that when he was drinking/using.. he wasnt thinking about me.. if he did the guilt would make him drink or use to block it out.. he definately didn't want me around... he would reach out if he needed something.. emotional reassurance, company, wanted to feel normal.. whatever... so when he reached out he was basically ising me, likr he used drugs and alcahol, to change his moods..
I wouldnt worry so much about your detachment affecting him.. he may not get better for years... I had to focus on its affects on me... how was I going to deal when I had suddenly lost (its still a loss) this big part of my life..