Hi. I know how you are feeling. I kicked my alcoholic boyfriend out of my life a few months ago. He got sober but was so depressed afterwards that I found him worse than when he was drinking except that the physical abuse stopped. I was his carer, that's all I was. I didn't get the love or nuturing I needed from him at all. When I told him it was over, he did exactly the same as your husband. He thought he could win me round and it would blow over. So he got a surprise when he came back from the hairdresser to find that I had locked him out and packed him a bag. I have no regrets. Life hasn't been easy since but I am getting there, rebuiling my life and my self-esteem one day at a time. you would really benefit from Al-anon meetings. They have been so supportive to me, dealing with the issues of co-dependency. I wouldn't go back to that hell, even though I miss him sometimes.
My sister has been married to an alcoholic for 20 years. She has 3 children. For years she has lived with his lies and his abuse. Her children have really suffered during this time. Now she is ready to leave. In fact she is coming to stay with me for a while until she can get herself sorted out. She is now 50 and I am so pleased that she has finally had the guts to get out. Perhaps she can start to live for the first time and enjoy peace and serenity - something she has forgotten. She is withdrawn and tense all the time, no self-esteem, yet such a beautiful person - goes hand in hand with living with an alcoholic. He of course has now promised to quit drinking and get his act together. So many times, so many promises - time goes on, she isn't getting any younger. Her children will also need help to get over all the traumas. He is evil and will never change. They are full of self-pity and always blame you.
Don't be scared. Many women have had the courage to leave and they have never looked back. You have a right to a happy, fulfilling life and your kids have a right to peace and serenity. If you stay, it won't get better. What you see is what you get. Go while you still can. Look forward to a happy life!