There are a lot of feelings in your post .
My feelings were misleading in early sobriety, they wanted me to succumb to drinking any feelings away …
35 days although great, isn't a long time and certainly too small a window in my experience to feel anything other than completely out of whack from what is really going on .
Throw your emotional compass out the window , stick with doing the next right thing for your sobriety . The first 35 days are the worst and it gets better and with time you will feel more whole .
I'd rather sit round every night for a year with damaged people and be sober than wake up not knowing what i'd done the night before ever again .
Bestwishes, m