I was going to buy him gifts, like I normally do, but I'm trying to change my behaviors. Normally, I'd think that if I was nice enough to him things would be okay, or if I act like things are okay maybe he'll act like they're okay too. That doesn't work. Things aren't okay. I think pretending like things are okay is enabling him. I would rather focus my gift giving and thoughtfulness on my kids and family and friends who have been so wonderful to me this year, especially those who were so supportive when I had my baby in July and AH was completely selfish.