Just wanted to share some thoughts from today with you all...
I had my 13th counselling session on Friday the 13th December 2013. Unlucky for some but fortunately not for me. I go to counselling for my anxiety and depression and we cover my issues with alcohol amongst many other things! My counsellor uses a mix of talk based therapy and CBT techniques that are along the lines of mindfulness rather than challenging negative thinking. I am a binge THINKER so mindfulness works better for me!
I realised today at my session that I have made a lot of progress with my recovery on many fronts (alcohol, self esteem, anxiety, mood) but there is still a long way to go. These are things that I will continue to work on for a long time to come. But now that I have come out of what can only be described as the worst low point of my life with depression I realise I can choose what my future looks like. I have the power to decide what happens to me. Who would have thought?! It's a very scary but exciting feeling.
I quit what for me was a toxic job about a month ago and alcohol has not been a part of my life now for over 3 months. I no longer feel like a prisoner like I did before trapped in a job I hate from Monday to Friday and trapped with a poisonous 'friend' on evenings and weekends. I am now determined to find a job (I have my first interview next week) that I like and rebuild my relationship and real friendships I've neglected over the past few years.
It might sound strange that this all seems like such a big deal to me today but it really feels like a moment of clarity like I've not had in a long, long time. Thanks for listening
