Caribbean, Justwant, and Stung....thanks for posting. In a silly way it makes me feel less alone. I was living the shiny life, too, with things looking really good on the outside. But the dark truth was that my charming, successful husband retreated to his wine country estate at night to swill vodka as his family was silently miserable. I felt like the only person in the world dealing with this.
When I got to the point where I could not live with it any longer, it was bad but not horrendous. But I felt like I was living with a plastic bag over my head with holes enough so that I could breathe, but not enough air for me to thrive.
Caribbean, I knew a good year ahead of actually separating that it was coming. I really squared away finances, documents, and squirreled away cash. Had an attorney consult as well. It all paid off as the separation unfolded.