THank u everybody for youre responses. I must admit it has scared me reading that its possible going so long without alcohol and then falling back inTO the trap. That truly is a frightening prospect.. I Think i have done well going a few months without drink sometimes but if someone goes 20 years without it and them relapses it really does make u think about how bad this disease is. I Dont think theres much hope. I sometimes feel like a weirdo as there isnt really anybody else who has the same problem as me ,,who lives near me, banyway once again you people have made me feel better, so i thank u again, xx