Originally Posted by
FireSprite 
Liz, it makes absolute sense that this would trigger a panic reaction in you given your history. I had also forgotten about your sister. ((((HUGS))))
I have been triggering in a similar way because my 40th is this weekend & that was the year that my then-RAF hit his 5-yr sober mark just before turning 40, was diagnosed with an aggressive cancer & died before his next birthday. I feel like I'll be holding my breath until I turn 41. Utterly irrational, I know.
Maybe the hidden silver lining in this for you is to be able to work through this trigger in part of your therapy.... so that when it turns out to be nothing more than a "disgusting ingrown hair" (Thank you Florence, I am still laughing) you will have had growth in an area of your healing that may not happen any other way.
Yep, I'm all "glass 3/4 full & filling" today!
LOL, yes Florence did make me laugh on that one. I'm sorry about your dad. My dad died 2 years ago and he died of a brain tumor that was located on his spinal cord. His older sister also died from a brain tumor and that is one of those things in the back of my mind, wondering if that's something I should be concerned about in my future?
As for my sister: she's in her 30s now with 2 kids, living her own drama filled life. We are very close and when my son lost a friend last fall to leukemia and lymphoma, my sister was very supportive to him and to us. It's so hard to see that some live and some don't when it comes to cancer.
UGH: and I sent an email to AH to let him know that I'm a bit on edge because my mind is caught up in the 'what ifs', so please disregard my spaciness. He sent back an email with a Bible verse about worry attached to it. Then, I did a very bad thing: I gave him the finger through the walls of the house(he was in another room, obviously) and I cursed in my head in Italian at him(I studied Italian for 7 years and I know all the good ones, LOL!). At this point, anything nice he does is bringing up some serious anger and resentment issues for me so I really have to watch that in my own attitude so that it doesn't bring me down.