Originally Posted by
DoubleDragons 
Today is my son's birthday and my daughter had a Christmas choral program at her elementary school. Originally, my parents were supposed to meet us at a restaurant for my son's birthday dinner and then go to the program. Well, when I spoke to my mother she was wasted at 8:30 am. I called my father and asked them not to come. I didn't want to have to spend my day wondering what kind of state she would be in when they arrived. My children have already witnessed my mother arriving to events drunk on more than one occasion, so I decided I had to protect myself and my children. Of course, the fallout of this has been incredibly nasty. They blew up my cell phone and my home phone with a mix of nasty messages, F-Us and being told that nobody's perfect and that I was committing cruel and unusual punishment. At one time I had 16 unanswered messages on my cell phone. They threatened to come to the program anyway since it was on "public" property. It was always about what I was doing to them, how cold and judgmental I am, never about how any of this affects me and my family. I feel hollow. I am so sick of being abused by them. They have always been my biggest worry and heartache.
They outdid my dad. I got 'only' 11 hateful voicemails, and no FU, only being called a troublemaker and an a$$hole. (Yeah, my daily-mass-attending dad called his then 42 year old daughter an a$$hole. Real classy, dad.) But then, to be fair, sounds like your dad had your mom to help with the phone calls. My poor dad had to do it all by himself. ;-) He followed it up with another letter this October telling me much of the same stuff your dad told you.
He's never threatened to come to my kids' events, but he threatened to come to my work specifically to cause trouble for me--he was very clear that causing me trouble at my work was his
intent.
I wish I could step through the computer and give you a genuine hug and comfort. You did the right thing. What they say and what they call you means nothing. I struggle still at times, knowing the things my mother says about me to everyone. Then I remember, this is the woman who spent my growing up years mocking and making fun of my cousin, making stupid faces, saying, DUHHHHH, and doing contorted things with her hand to 'imitate' her--I only later understood that my cousin is borderline mentally handicapped, and has Turner's Syndrome. Yeah, my mom was ridiculing and making fun of a handicapped baby and child, even criticizing her for not being able to lift her head well at 3 months of age! When I start feeling terrible about what she's saying about me, I sometimes remember that, and can once again CONSIDER THE SOURCE. Do the same, when they're calling you names and casting character aspersions.