Welcome. I'm new too.
Even though I'm not married and not in your situation, I sympathize.
Vodka is evil. It's my bf/ex 's alcohol of choice. A pint a day, and when he's not working, two... and then drugs, usually.
With what you're telling us, it's clear you're not supposed to rush things. So take some time to think things through, and start detaching yourself from him.
I did a lot of things wrong with my bf because I wasn't prepared and was learning about how to deal with addicts (guilt, for instance -but he was doing it too, in his own way).