Originally Posted by
Charliee 
The only thing keeping me sober right now is my sobriety date. I don't want to lose my sober time and have and have to start all over at day one. I think I would have I think I would have relapsed by now....
My sobriety date has many times been the only thing that kept me sober. Or at least it felt that way. There's always a lot more hiding underneath that.
I always felt that anything I was going through, I would have to go through again, only worse... PLUS, everything I already went through, if I picked up a drink. Would have to do it ALL over again, and I believed it would be harder, and more painful. Always felt too that if I rode out whatever it was I was experiencing or feeling, I'd never have to go back there again, and I would get stronger from the experience. Been doing that for 29 years, and I've been right thus far.
Sometimes things suck really bad on all levels, but they pass. Eventually. Every time. If I don't pick up a drink. If I pick up a drink I feel I'm also blanketing everything else I'm experiencing with horrors and problems way bigger than whatever it is I feel I've got now. Alcohol is a liar. It's a depressant. It only wants to ruin my life or destroy me completely.
Sometimes I have to keep it as simple as DON'T DRINK NO MATTER WHAT. Or find whatever I need to just not drink today. I know the goal is forever, but telling myself I'll wait it out just one more day has always done the trick for me too. Hang in there. There's great stuff on the other side of the pain, if we ride it out.