A summary of a few types of abusers from "Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Abusive Men" by Lundy Bancroft:
5. Mr. Sensitive
Mr. Sensitive appears on the outside to be gentle and soft-spoken and uses personal development jargon, meanwhile still being extremely self-centered and demanding emotionally.
"As long as I use a lot of "psychobabble," no one is going to believe that I am mistreating you. I can get inside your head whether you want me there or not."
3. The Water Torturer
[B]The Water Torturer stays evenly calm in arguments and has a quiet derision (insulting or mocking) and meanness. He can psychologically assault his partner so they don't even understand why they are so upset.
"As long as I'm calm, you can't call anything I do abusive, no matter how cruel."[/B]