New- Trying to get my ducks in a row.
First, I've been reading the posts on this site for almost 2 weeks before I had the courage to sign up tonight. It's been insightful and has helped me through the process and I thank you for that.
Second, I'm married to an alcoholic. He works every day and is the boss, he runs every morning, we do not have money problems, he's never out at bars or MIA on benders. He doesn't physical abuse me or yell at me. But he's an alcoholic and just because things look shiny on the outside, doesn't mean it's not a terribly sad situation.
We have a baby and I have Post Partum Anxiety. Through my treatment and my weekly counseling group I finally opened up to them about the alcoholism and my counselor recommended Co Dependent No More...........WOW....almost finished with it and what a life changer.
I have been practicing detachment, and what do you know, my husband came to me and wanted to share how much he's been drinking. He told me a pint of vodka a day on the drive home and a fifth of vodka on the weekend, plus any beers he has. He cried and cried, saying he needs help...... (I've heard this too many times to count).
Because he's an addict, I am assuming he's underestimating which is so sad. He has been lying for a long time about his alcohol use, admitting there was a major problem, but that it wasn't a daily problem. Now he admits it's been a daily habit for over a year. He's been a heavy drinker since he was a teenager and he's 36 now.
Since he has shared this with me, I haven't chastised him or guilt tripped him, simply said I hope you get the help you need. Only you can make that decision.
But I have made a decision, I no longer want to live with alcoholism. It's recommended not to make any major decisions during Post Partum Anxiety treatment, yet I want to get my ducks in a row.
I need to save money, find a job, etc. any other tips?
I'm angry at myself for allowing myself to be in this situation and for bringing a child into this situation (although he adores her and loves to be with her, it doesn't change the facts. Daddy is an alcohol.....I'm so sorry my dear baby)
Thank you