Hopealwayz,
I have checked into AA. I know when and where the meetings are. I don't think I am yet to that point. When I can stop either shaking or crying I will go. Friday night for example I went into convulsions and had to go to the hospital. When I get past the initial blast I will definately go as I need some friends so bad.
I am having such a tough time because I have also broken up with my girlfriend who's name is also Hope. Maybe yours is not? Friday I decided it was too hard to do both at one time so decided to quit quitting. I had 2 1/2 beers and went into convulsions as I mentioned. Now I guess I can't drink even if I wanted but I really don't Booze has taken so much from me.
Originally I quit to try to help my girlfriend quit. She gets terribly abusive when she drinks. She gets delusional too and makes up things that don't happen. Anyway, she tired for one day and went back worse than before. Now I learned I have a much larger problem with booze than I knew because of all the problems I have had. I don't have my Hope anymore as we were talking but she had another delusional episode and truly believes I threatened to kill her and her son. I did not of course. It makes no difference though because she believes it happened.
Now I just don't know where to turn. I talked to her family in the hopes that they would try to help her, intervention or something. Instead they all decided how much they hate her and really gave it to her. Now everyone hates her but me and I am the one she hates. Ironic.
And yes, it is so hard to not drink throughout all this. I will not though after Friday. How long do the withdrawls last anyway. This has been off and on for a month.