Originally Posted by PaulOwen

Am I entirely powerless over drugs/alcohol though? I don't think so. Is this a reason for me to go back out there? NO! Will this inevitably mean that I'm doomed to go out there regardless, eventually? I hope not, but I'm sick of feeling like this is the case because people in AA tells me it's so.

As far as a belief in a higher power... The other night I had this idea that my "God" would be simply that pull towards what I consider the right thing in the midst of internal conflict. It's not necessarily a higher power, but instead the best of my morality. It's still my will, my free will, that ultimately ends up making the decision. I absolutely refuse to believe that just because I ask for a sign from God and then my tire blows out on the road that that's an answer. As far as I'm concerned, it's the most egotistical thing for a person to believe that just because they're an alcoholic and give up their "will" to god that whatever that is just starts answering calls like a messaging service. Sorry if this conception offends anyone, it's just how I feel.