No offence I tented friend. I am not an AA member.
But this sounds like this is about you more then AA. Call it what you want, powerless might not resonate with you and that's ok. But if you have lost control then find a name, your own name if you wish.
See for me it's exactly like Hulk coming out. I loose control over my emotions and self control. Powerless? Maybe not but how do I keep the beast from coming out if not from an external source of help and inspiration? Choice is clear, whatever gets me there I will embrace. Even if it involves stepping on my ego for a minute.