I lived life with a very high functioning verbally abusive father who always admitted to his addiction, or at least from the time I can remember he was always very honest and my mother explained it by telling me the story of Achilles; no matter how strong a person is we all have our weakness, and alcohol was my fathers.
But just because they admit to an addiction does not mean they deal with the addiction. He would go months at a time trying to go clean but in the end always went back to his first love, Crown.
Though he was never physically abusive his verbal abuse was wearing on my soul, and times still is even though he is clean he still has a temper, but I have never been able to walk away from him in his darkest hours of need, being a drug user myself I know how they alter your state of mind and drag you into the depth of depression, to me alcohol is the worst of all drugs and I had a love affair with smack off and on for years in my teens and 20’s and it still pales in comparison with alcohol IMO when it comes to the dark places a drug can lead you in your own mind.
I have a strong faith in HaShem, (G-d) and the writing of the Tanach (Bible) and walking away from your parents in their hour of need is just a sin with no forgiveness. I may feel a sense of peace that I’m not dealing with him for a while but in the end my soul would suffer a pang that I could not bear as my love for my parents is stronger than any I have ever know, just as their love for me is the strongest I have ever known. With that being said I have no one else my choice to take care of my father affects, I even broke off a 3 year relationship with someone I cared for deeply but did not understand why I would take care of a drunk who did this all to himself. They said, I was a codependent enabler to put my life on hold to take care of my father, they may be right but I have to do what is best for my soul because I have to live with all decisions I make in this life.
In the end it is your decision to be in his life but yet keep your distance,( you don’t have to take care of him your mother is the one who signed on for that job) or walk away altogether because you and you alone are the one who will have to live with any choice you make.