Thank you very very much.
Hello you all.*I would like to talk sth ot today.
One of the main harmful thing i did to my family during those awful drinking days.
Pls tell me when my english is not correct!
The fact is that I lost a lot of money in trading activities.
Several hundreds of thousands euros...
That was during 2011 and 2012.
When i was drinking, i was drinking a lot of good french wine (usually good bordeaux).
I usually begun with 2 to five glasses during lunch; specially during business lunches; we french like to have some good wines at lunch.
Afternoon work was not "affected"
When returning home from work, between 7 and 9 pm depending on the work load, i used to rush to the bottle and have 1, then 2, then, you know how its working, then x glasses to finish the bottle; and open a new one.
My wife doesnt need to drink more than 2 or 3 glasses; happy her.
But i cant, i couldnt.
But lets go back to the money losses in trading.
Do you guys know trading?
It is a very dangerous activity if you dont have a perfectly clear head.
With a computer or a ipad or iphone, you are in a position to take very big bets in the markets; it is a feeling of power and mastering things, when we alcoholics know that drinking leads us to be weak, fearful, and not mastering anything.
And when i lost, i "played" more to maker that up...
Vicious circle, again and again.
Until my wife discovered the whole thing, in April this year.
She really was mad at me; I was ordered to stop and to quit alcohol.
Which i did few weeks later.
She might have kicked me outside; she didnt but i know this can happen anytime.
i am fighting now against all the bad attitudes i have/had and that i did not face when drinking; lying to me and to others, hiding, fear, anxiety, depression, well you probably know all these feelings as well as me...
( to be continued...)