Originally Posted by
underoath 
I hate being babied though, I hate having things handed to me.. I like to fix my own problems I don't like help. truth be told I'm still a child I'm immature I need to grow up. I want to be hard and independent, mature and wise. Right now I'm just a weak little bitch. Rehab is for rich people or people who can't do it on their own.. or people in there against their will
Just my opinion, but I think rehab is for the lucky ones. The ones who have the opportunity to go. I wish I could have gone to rehab over a decade ago. Who knows what great things I could have accomplished had I not spent so many years destroying myself and being dysfunctional. Not having the opportunity to go to rehab with one of my many addictions has left me jumping from one to another, and now I try to address my sht but it's in slow motion. I think it's for the lucky ones who are mature enough to go in and take care of this mess in an accelerated fashion, then get out and take charge of the life they are supposed to have and become the person they have the potential to be.
Doing it on your own is safe. There's nothing to keep you accountable, so you don't really have to do the hard work. Getting help is not being babied, it's being brave, aware of your condition, and going for it. Refusing to change and doing it over and over on your own is babying yourself. You're not alone, because I did that for way too long.
Since you are saying you don't like to be babied - you can bet your mother IS disappointed, and worse than that she is probably devastated but trying to be stoic for your sake. I gather you are young, smart, loved, and talented - it's time to be brave, change things up, meet your potential. That will probably involve being vulnerable and not doing it on your own. Just my two cents.