Thankfully we will not be 50/50 or I don't know that I could do it. I understand where you are coming from, what you question yourself about and why you have those questions. One thing I don't bank on however is that if I leave he will decide to get sober. I actually think the opposite, that he may very well spiral out of control which is part of why I have not done it yet. Either way, I don't blame myself, I have enough time under my belt of going to meetings for codependency and eductation to know that. I just hope that my children see it the same way (with counseling that I know they will need and will receive).
Originally Posted by
unsureoffuture 
My attorney says the same. It will be 50/50 since there are no arrests dui's etc. Virtually no proof. I live in a 50/50 custody state. That is why I haven't left yet too. My ADH drinks daily and secretly which is even worse because he hides it so we never know how much or when. It's tough and I waver back and forth, go or stay, what is better for the kids. What I have realized is if I stay nothing will change and there is no hope. If I leave, as tough as it is, at least there is hope that one day I will be living in a happy, peaceful and healthy household. He is not going to change with the way things are and I am not even sure he is able to change. At least if I leave there is a small smigeon of hope that it will be enough that he will decide to get sober. And I know that once the sadness and fog lifts, I can be happier.