and I'm terrified I won't recognize myself without it.
you probably won't! because you will no longer be under the pall and stress of someone else's addiction that you can never solve, no more albatross around your neck, pained expression in the eyes, garments rended in grief. imagine instead of hanging on to a FANTASY, you got the chance to get busy living REAL LIFE in the here and now. imagine if you LIVED each moment to the fullest and liked it???
it's up to you...you can drive your bus looking out the windshield or the rear view mirror.