Originally Posted by
Mirage74 
For me, I think my problem with my sister is something I need to deal with. I think we have some unresolved issues from when I was young that we're never resolved because she was older. I mean, it's time to grow up, I find her games childish. I know there is probably going to be a confrontation, which usually tend to really escalate because she has a lot of anger, apparently at me. I hope I can fix it soon so I can gain some inner peace with this and move on.
The question is, does
she want to fix it?
My sister is also older, by less than two years, and I don't know if you mean something similar, but she was always very into the fact that
she was the older sister. I wasn't supposed to come around her and her friends, etc. I was supposed to know my place. When I moved back home after years away, we were in our mid to late 30s...and I realized she was still acting the same way. A childish game, as you say at that age.
My experience with attempting to resolve problems (which in our case was her flying into red-in-the-face screaming rages) was that I kept my statement to a factual sentence or two: I can't come back for holidays if this is going to keep happening. We need to talk about this.
I was ignored for 18 months. I think AF told her to apologize to get me to shut up or something, because when I refused to come back, I got this: I'm sorry, but you have to admit your part in it.
I wasn't buying it. No. I don't fly into rages like that
under any circumstances. I don't think I've EVER gone into such a rage at another human being.
End result: we have no relationship, because she does not WANT to 'repair' the relationship except by way of me saying, "You're right, I deserved that."
I suspect an awful lot of members here will have similar stories regarding attempts to repair relationships. Sadly.
I do hope that if you talk to her, yours will be different. But I would strongly advise that you don't depend too much on your relationship with her for your peace. I have had to find mine elsewhere.