I agree with Suki, I was exhausted reading your post. The chaos and craziness would make anyone feel anxious, even someone who doesn't suffer from anxiety... I think you have a choice - you can either choose to change yourself (stop drinking period & work on your own issues through whatever means works for you AA, al-anon, therapy, etc), or you can choose to stay stuck in the craziness. Even if you kick the bf to the curb, unless you work on you, you'll likely just end up in some other craziness.
I say that as someone who's facing the same choices though my circumstances are different. I'm trying to work on me. It's harder some days than others, but I want a peaceful, happy life. I don't want chaos and craziness.