Welcome. Glad you found SR. There is tons of good information here and more importantly for you, great support. You also need face to face support as does your daughter. I truly to goodness hope you do not leave your 11 year old daughter alone with your alcoholic wife as it sounds like she is a danger to herself and more than what any 11 year old is capable of handling alone. I agree, we teach our kids how to be addicts and good little codependents. It's very sad. I have an eight year old that already exhibits codependency in a way that alarms me sometimes. I am working on our situation and have a plan that I realize even if I am not willing to make changes in my own life because of me, I have to do so for my girls as living with an addict is very unhealthy for them and breeds resentments in all of us.
Good luck and God Bless. Keep posting, we all walk our journeys together.