Hi Wisconsin;
I wish I could come to your house right now and give you a big long hug and make a pot of coffee and just be there for you.
You sound so alone and sad.
It does sound like you've had enough.
Things will get better again. You're at the bottom of the hill looking up,
But you are strong enough to climb out of this and build something wonderful
for you and your son.
Please take care of yourself and take baby steps to get things rolling.