Hello gitzo, and welcome to SoberRecovery
I am also a man, we have a lot of men on this website, you are not alone.
Originally Posted by
gitzo 
... I put my trust in her in correctly. We work together in the business, and just assumed she was doing her responsibilities. I was wrong.
Me too. We had a very nice business, I did the same. Trusted when I knew better.
I went to meetings of al-anon, tried different one. Found one, a long drive away, that was _all_ men. I heard their stories. The details were different, but the feelings the same. I cannot imagine anything worse than watching a loved one with addiction.
One of the most important things I have learned is that there is a _lot_ I can do to help a loved one with addiction. The problem is that they are never the automatic things I want to do. It is always complicated and challengine. You mention that you have done interventions, did they give family members any classes? If they did then you have an understanding of what I am talking about.
If not, you can learn right here on this website. There is always the possibility of another intervention, but if you decide to do that it will take a lot of planning and preparation. If not an intervention there are many other choices. Take the time to read here, ask questions. See if there are meetings of al-anon, CODA or similar that are near you.
I am glad you decided to join us, but I am sorry for the reasons why you did.
Mike
