Originally Posted by
NWGRITS 
ACoA are usually bred to believe that nobody will ever care for us the way family does, even if they're abusing us at the same time. We feel this unhealthy obligation to our abusers.
This is so true. In the letter my father sent in October, he made the comment that I'm pushing away 'all the people who love you the most.' This time, it actually gave me the creeps to read that, seeing those words clearly as coming from a manipulative abuser, and thinking back to all the ugly, disrespectful things that have been done and said, in contrast to the claim these are the people who 'love me the most.'
I have felt obligated: to have my siblings in my wedding party, to ask them to be godparents. Years went by, and I was never asked to be a godparent or be in their wedding parties. It was one of a steady stream of eye openers about how we were raised, and made me ask the question why I felt so obligated to include them (I knew my parents would have a fit if I didn't), but they felt no such obligation in return. It was another of my clues as to the different 'roles' we'd been slotted into.