Originally Posted by
digdug 
When I first got sober, it all seemed too easy. The thought of consuming alcohol made me nauseas. Besides a few disturbing drunk dreams, I didn't have any cravings. I'm in AA and I saw so many people around me struggling. I wondered why it seemed so easy for me to abstain. I also had little trouble accepting my status as a total alcoholic and addict, so I rarely had thoughts that I would eventually be able to drink in moderation at some point. AA has helped keep me in check.
This has been my experience as well.
It was not like this the first time. I was a mess and struggled. I did not remain sober. So although it is not that way this time, I can relate to the people that are struggling and they have more courage then I did. I hear and see what they have to deal with, yet they remain sober. Powerful examples for me.
I have asked myself what was different this time. Acceptance? My time? God? I have come to believe it was all three. I was given a gift, one I do not take lightly and I don't intend to give it back.
I am also in AA and if I did not have the program and the fellowship, I would not be sober today. When I am under stress, I want to hide. Hiding for me equals drinking. It is not just a program, steps or the fellowship. It has become my way of life. I must remain diligent and give back to keep my gift.
I never thought of moderation. I think acceptance has taken that option off the table. There was a time though, in the beginning, that I doubted if I needed the full AA program. I mean it was so easy to set it down and walk away this time.
What I have found was that it can be just as easy to walk back. Stress, anger and resentments were still there. They did not go away when I abstained. That need to chase was still there. Working the steps has replaced the running with standing in front of the issue and dealing with it. To do that, I need support. I need my sponsor and the friends I have made. I need the meetings to be able to give back as well as get out of myself.
The program, the steps, the fellowship and the friends I have made are a life long commitment to me now. I may have another drunk in me, but I do not have another recovery in me.