Hi Newlife, i'm in ct too. Seeking help this past time for me signaled a real shift. The word surrender gets used a lot here, and I think that I felt a lot like you just described in your post. I was so sick of fighting it, and I just felt like handing the reins over to someone else and letting them tell me what to do....
The amazing thing is, it really does not take so very long to start to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I was too scared of living the rest of my life almost exactly like you just described, where everything was predicated on that drink at the end of the day.
And now when I think about it, I would spend 12 or 14 hours miserable and hungover, slogging through the day, watching all different parts of my life unravel, for that first drink. And all I really wanted to do was slip back into oblivion...for what? To wake up and do it all over again.
I wasn't sure what sobriety would bring but I was hard pressed to believe that it could be as horrible as the way I was living. And I hadn't lost everything, but I was dying on the inside.
When I had started to set the wheels in motion and include others in my choices a little spark of hope was ignited in me, it woke up the old me that I had been drowning for so long. It sounds like you are on the right road.