At their ages your kids are capable of understanding a basic explanation pf addiction. My older kids (8 and 6) know why they haven't seen their grandmother in a year-and-a-half. They also know that until Mimi is well again, they will not see or talk to her. I had to do what was best for ME and my children. ACoA are usually bred to believe that nobody will ever care for us the way family does, even if they're abusing us at the same time. We feel this unhealthy obligation to our abusers. You do not HAVE TO do anything for him. It's ok, and no one here would tell you otherwise. We get it. We know what it's like to have no sense of self, no personal identity, no LIFE outside of our alcoholic parent(s). Like DesertEyes mentioned, it doesn't all have to happen at once. It did for ME, but it was an extreme circumstance (nearly losing my children to CPS) that caused me to make a clean break. Just know that you are loved and supported here.This is a no judgment zone full of compassionate people just like you. Keep posting, and take time to read the stickies at the top of the page.