I don't know if I can live the rest of my life without ever drinking
That's your AV speaking because the beast is throwing a tantrum and wants instant gratification and to drink now. Just don't drink tonight and tomorrow you can sign in to the 24 hours club and committ not to drink for the next 24 hours.
You can do it
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...l-welcome.html
and remember, Cherry Fellowship is a short bus ride away and they have food. Meeting starts at 8