Butt, A**... whatever. He showed a bad side of himself and was an A**. lol. I am not the best at using sayings.
Amy55. ((Hug)) I read your post, and I had to reply today b/c I felt like I was reading my own writing. It gave me chills. I mean, how are these people SO similar in these abusive behaviors. I've experienced a day here or there of disappearing. Never a month for no reason... YET. I am SURE it will happen. It is progressing. We didn't see each other this time b/c we were in a standoff. He didn't want to talk about problems that happened in oct. and I didn't care to sweep it under a rug.
When we came together after a month though, it happened like you described. Expecting nothing to have changed. tears. manipulation. anger. blaming me. I think you will enjoy this part
lol., b/c it had been 1 month, I assumed we were on our own for Thanksgiving plans. I bought a ticket home to see my parents. He came over two days before the holiday to finally talk to me about what has been going on between us. He saw the luggage: " Where are you going?" .. I am going home for Thanksgiving..? "You are?? Okkk... I didn't make plans. I was going to check with you first."
It wasn't worth saying but I was shocked at the insanity of it all. Why would you treat someone like this for a month? And then expect them to have waited to see what you were doing for Thanksgiving. . !! It actually makes me laugh when I think about it and sad.
My therapist said this stuff will mostly clear up once the brain damage reverses, but I don't know like you, I wonder how much is just a junk personality.
I am so grateful for your responses today. They gave me company. I woke up alone at my Mom's. Me and her. I was so angry this morning I realized. At him. My heart hurts today because we had made plans to do some family things this yr. Then, I am angry at me. For allowing it. I have no idea where he really went last night, he was out with his A best friend at a " concert ". And today, "spending the day alone." I know he lies about everything. I woke up thinking, I want to have a family and have a big thanksgiving day, with children, my husband, extended family. My birthday is next week and I am approaching my mid thirties. I feel sad and overwhelmed. A whole range of emotions today. I am mostly sad b/c I realize that this is truly getting worse. It is Thanksgiving. He is spending it alone where we live ... hungover. He is a shell of a person. I'm doing better though finally accepting and letting go of expectations and desire to make this right. And I love this saying : Energy flows where the attention goes. Is this where I want to soak all of my attention, without a doubt... it will suck the energy from my life. One day at a time. Happy Thanksgiving guys. (((Thanks.)))